Petronius: Satires and the Book of Priapeia

should I have done when I was dying of hunger? Or, forsooth, should I have listened to the sentences—that is, broken glass and interpretations of dreams? By Hercules, you are much filthier than I, for you praised a poet so that you could dine out.” And so, from the most shameful quarrel, we dissolved into laughter and departed more peacefully to the rest.

Recalled again to the memory of the injury, I said: “Ascyltos, I understand that we cannot get along. And so, let us share our common baggage and attempt to expel our poverty by private gains. You know letters, and I know them. So that I do not obstruct your gains, I will promise something else; otherwise, a thousand causes will collide us daily and differentiate us by rumors through the whole city.” Ascyltos did not refuse, and said: “Today, because we promised to go to dinner like scholastics, let us not waste the night. But tomorrow, because this is pleasing, I will both look for housing for myself and another brother.” “It is late,” I said, “to defer what is pleasing.”

Libido made this division so precipitous; for I had long since been wanting to remove the annoying guardian so that I might reduce my old status with my Giton.

11 After I scanned the whole city with my eyes, I returned to the little room, and having finally settled matters in good faith, I bind the boy with the tightest embraces and enjoy my wishes up to the point of envious happiness. And not even all things were yet done when Ascyltos secretly approached the doors, and having broken the locks most strongly, he found me playing with my brother. Therefore, he filled the little room with laughter and applause, unwound me, covered in a cloak, and said: “What were you doing, most holy brother, who are making a share-lodging?” And he did not contain himself only to words, but untied the strap from his bag and began to beat me, not perfunctorily, with added petulant remarks: “Do not wish to divide with your brother this way.”

12 We were coming into the forum as the day was already failing, in which we noted a frequency of salable things—not indeed precious, but yet whose faith, walking badly, the darkness of time would most easily cover. When, therefore, we ourselves had brought the cloak taken by robbery, we began to use the most opportune occasion, and in a certain corner, to shake the extreme edge, if the splendor of the garment might perhaps be able to attract some buyer. And not long delayed, a certain rustic, familiar to my eyes, approached closer with a little woman as his companion.